6th: The Intimate Pleasure

From the beginning of the project, sexuality was approached as a human social desire to connect with others, and the theme of ‘intimacy’ was at its core. I did not think ‘pleasure’ simply meant the climax of a single moment, rather, I interpreted it as a state where we reach the most intimate parts of ourselves in daily life, both emotionally and physically, and being able to share it with other. In order to reach this point, constant effort was required and numerous mistakes and failures inevitable, therefore, sexuality cannot be defined in a fixed form.

Pleasure was like a twinkling light in the dark. It always shined when I looked at it, but in order to perceive it, I had to change the surroundings like casting darkness, and there was a border colored with each individual’s personality around the light. While finding a sense of stability by leaning onto the tactile senses, the struggle to dismantle stereotypes nestled in the unconsciousness continued, and the work of peeling off the suppressed layers in the uniqueness of Korean culture persisted.

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It’s the final round. When I first started planning, I was as much helpless as I was excited, and I doubted my qualifications to deal with the subject. When I noticed that I was still tempted to look for a permission to speak for the story of identity, I reconfirmed the mechanism of internalized censorship. I was not fully confident. Instead, I realized that the message I wanted to convey became more clear when I cleaned the site, or reviewed the photos and videos recordings, despite the nervous mind throughout the process.

Whenever I talked about the subject, unnecessary tension and preconceived images had come out first. Although the topics of sexuality is in our daily life, converting them into daily usage of language remained unfamiliar. Yet, the comfort and openness that the category of ‘art’ allowed to relieve the tension.

< Intimate Pleasure >

It was not difficult to come up with a viewpoint to counteract or criticize the existing oppression. However, it was difficult to imagine and draw a new image to replace them because even I was already stained with prejudice and distorted images.

The last episode, ‘Intimate Pleasure’, assumes the entire space as an inner space where individual thoughts and feelings on sexuality are created and destroyed, and is an abstract record of the elements emerged while staying in it. Along with eight pieces of painting that capture the images of pleasure drawn in imagination, an installation made of six colors that symbolically reveal various aspects of sexuality, and purple (spirituality), the main theme of this episode, creates the atmosphere of the space. The performance listens to the episodes taking place in it

I dream of a charming society in which various perspectives are revealed, and individual stories rather than generalized ones are shared with freedom and safety.

In the last episode, titled ‘Intimate Pleasure’, I once again think about the gradually changing inner state and both ideal and realistic state I want to create for the word ‘pleasure’.

A sense of stability and comfort that touches on excitement.

The work that connects the state of being liberated from social pressure and the sexual pleasure, often confronts the self-doubting contradictions, proving the intensity of internalized pressure.

Shouldn’t we start with an unconditional affirmation of existence? Among the activities for survival and pleasure, sexuality maximizes the appearance of a social being. In addition to the sense of sexual existence that I feel, how will that image be conveyed to others toward whom my desire is directed, and the other person’s response will soon be embodied in two directions, acceptance and rejection of my existence, and will it define my value?

Could it be that emotions crouched in vague fear seeped out from the absence of a fundamental awareness that beings can be established without conditions, and that I was monitoring every case to prove, persuade, and evaluate my value?

Sexuality is a vast subject in itself. Therefore, I attempt to focus on the phenomena and changes that occur with the individual, rather than generalized or social-activist issues. Focusing on the mental, emotional, and physical aspects, I noticed the points at which my experience was misinterpreted and covered by prejudice in the social context. Therefore, rather than criticizing the existing prejudice, I want to dream of a small change by more actively revealing individual experiences and perspectives.